Updated: 2 May 2023, 19:21 pm IST
Do you know what an orgasm feels like? How do you know that you have climaxed? Some women may feel a tingling sensation, but what if that is only the foothill of what an orgasm is really meant to feel like? This mystery around the big O and the fact that women rarely talk about it – to their partner, friends, or even doctors – is what the pleasure gap is all about. Men ejaculate when they orgasm, but women may still be figuring out what it feels like even after years of sexual experiences.
Femtech companies, sexual wellness brands, and online sex educators have been making efforts to normalise conversations about sex and pleasure gap. Women – old and young alike – are realising that times may have changed. But truth be told – there is no generation gap as far as the pleasure gap is concerned. When it comes to sexual pleasure, it seems stuck in time – a reality sensitively portrayed through a social film made by MsChief from the house of TTK Healthcare Ltd.
What is the pleasure gap?
The pleasure gap, also known as the orgasm gap, effectively illustrates the difference between the number of times men and women derive pleasure from sex. Women may feel a sense of arousal, which is natural, but they may fail to climax or orgasm.
While the lack of sex education has a major role to play in this, studies have also shown that the pleasure gap has more to do with the sexual interactions we have with our partners.
A study conducted by MsChief and a market research app Unomer Inc. considered responses from 360 women across metros and non-metro cities in India. The study found that over 81 percent of the respondents reported being dissatisfied with their sex lives, with 73 percent rarely reaching climax. They also found that only 3 percent male respondents considered in the study think their partner “never or rarely” experiences orgasm. Researchers also discovered that 22 percent of the people surveyed are aware of sex toys but only 8 percent use them in their bedrooms!
While you would think that communicating your sexual needs, difficulties and fantasies might help women bridge the pleasure gap, the study highlighted that only 41 percent of the total number of women included in the study communicated their sexual needs to their partners. Another reason why the pleasure gap persists is the gendered idea of how our society and culture have different expectations of men and women when it comes to sexual relationships.
If women address the orgasm gap by talking about it with their partners more openly in the times to come, there could be a positive change.
Ways to discuss pleasure gap with your partner
Here are some easy ways that can help address the pleasure gap and discuss it with your partner:
1. Know your own pleasure
Don’t let the intricacies of an orgasm be a mystery to you! Sex is an enjoyable experience from the start to the finish – but only if you know what makes you tick. For that, self-exploration is key. In fact, curiosity to know more about arousal, as well as your orgasm, might promote intimacy and enjoyment.
Whether you want to learn more about self-pleasure or maximize your sexual experience, you can’t go wrong with a vibrator. MsChief | Virtuoso – MsChief, a flexible and skin-friendly self-pleasure tool has multiple stimulation modes and may just be the thing you need!
2. Communicate your sexual desires
Communication is very important when it comes to bridging the pleasure gap. Open up about your sexual desires and problems if any, so that you can experience the orgasm you have been missing out on. If using a lubricant to glide through sexual intercourse works for you, MsChief offers a skin-friendly tea and peach lubricant enriched with aloe vera, vitamin E and sea buckthorn for a friction-free experience that can enhance the pleasure factor.
3. Safety with pleasure
When it comes to communication, don’t forget about consent and safety. While sex may seem more pleasurable to some men without the use of condoms, do not keep safety on the backburner when it comes to sex. Instead, double up the pleasure with MsChief’s dotted or ultra-thin condoms which are skin-friendly, paraben and glycerine free, and do not contain any artificial flavours or fragrances.
The last word
Given how mysterious the female orgasm is considered, it is not surprising that there are a lot of myths about how to hit an orgasm and how frequently you can have it. Remember, what may work for one woman may not work for another. Penetrative sex won’t necessarily give you an orgasm. For some, only a rub on the clitoris works well. For some, a certain sex position works better. Knowing what works for you will help you close the orgasm gap.
(Disclaimer: This article is sponsored by MsChief)