Did your presentation fail to impress your boss? Were you not able to meet your fitness goals? Did a fight with your partner turn into an unexpected break-up? We have all been there, we have faced rejections and felt disappointed. But feeling defeated doesn’t mean it’s over for you and you just give up. There’s so much to look forward to and you can overcome it. It’s inevitable that you will feel defeated at some point in life, so read on to find out how to get past it.
Health Shots reached out to Dr Rishi Gautam, a US-based mental health expert and a specialist of psychiatry, to know about the feeling of giving up in life and what to do about it.
What does feeling defeated feel like?
It feels like you want to give up, there is loss of self-confidence and anger at yourself. The good news is that for the most part this is normative. It helps us recognise our limitations, take stock of the situation, and then grow from it. If you are experiencing something like this, it may be a good opportunity to assess what is going on, says Dr Gautam. Feeling defeated is our mind’s way of telling us we have failed at something. Our mind is driven by wishes, ambitions and desires, amongst many other things. This drives us into wanting more and then working towards it. The challenge being, we can lose objectivity while pursuing our goals.
Things to do when you feel defeated
You can start by identifying that very feeling. You should know that it is okay to doubt yourself and feel inadequate at times. Here are some more helpful tips!
1. Try to bring objectivity
You need to ask, “Was this really a reasonable goal?” For example, New Year resolutions are often about weight loss and fitness goals. It is not usually possible to lose a lot of weight in a short period of time, so maybe it was an unreasonable goal to start with.
2. Take a break
Detach yourself from the thought or the goal. Engage in some other activities. The chances of you fulfilling this objective are much lower anyway if you are not in a good frame of mind, says the expert.
3. Stop blaming yourself
It is a natural impulse to blame yourself, doubt your abilities and be angry at yourself. Truth be told, it does not help you or your goal.
4. The power of distraction
Distraction is not always a bad thing, so pull yourself away into doing more rewarding tasks which may include some self-care. Spend some time with your family or friends without an agenda or take a short vacation.
The benefits of time spent in peace with yourself cannot be overstated. Meditate for 15 minutes every morning at least. Let your mind wander, it is okay.
6. Draw healthy boundaries
A lot of self-doubt and disappointments are a result of our environment. The demands that are placed on us. Learn to say no to things you feel do not align with your personal and professional ethics.
7. Express gratitude
Thankfulness goes a long way in bringing balance to our lives. Express gratitude for things that are going well. There certainly are a few if you let yourself appreciate them.
Don’t forget to exercise, eat and sleep well. If you want, you can seek counsel too.